Good Bye, Ah Gu

On 18 Aug 11, I received a call from my elder brother, informing me that he, my mum and my brother-in-law were at outside my uncle, Ah Gu's house but no one opened the door. They were there because of Ah Gu's colleague called my mum telling her that he has not reported work for a few days already and asking if she knows his whereabouts.

Opps! Bad feelings filled me... Ah Gu, aged 57, was a bachelor and staying alone in the house. What could have happened to him? He couldn't have gone overseas as he did not have a passport... My mum communicated to him by phone once every other week and nothing unusual about him...

My brother then called again to broke the news that he tried opening the main door and foul smell was detected. They then called police. I rushed down from work to his house in AMK as I felt that I should be there to comfort and take care of my mum, who was closed to her this brother, fearing that she could not accept the bad news.

True enough, Ah Gu was found dead, beside his bed. He died from a heart attack about 4-5 days ago! We had met for dinner to celebrate my mum's birthday only on 7 Aug 11 and he was gone forever...

Ah Gu lead a very frugal life and was very thrifty in all ways. He has some savings but he didn't really have a chance to spend it... Sigh... So, sometimes, I feel that we should pamper ourselves a bit just in case we left the world suddenly...

One more thing to note, in remembrance of him... We will miss his radish cake roll that he sometimes made for us, which our whole family loved to eat...Good bye, Ah Gu!

Life Without Maid

My maid, S, has been with us for 2 years and taking care of my mentally retarded 2nd sis-in-law. She recently went back to her country Semerang, Indonesia for 2 weeks for a break before continuing another 10 months with us.

Sigh.... call it unfortunate and bad timing... my sis-in-law became "bed-ridden" and complaint of pain in the leg and hip where the clinic doctors, hospital doctors and Chinese Sinseh, etc., could not pinpoint what was wrong with her. During the maid's absence and no one to take care, we had to send her to a nursing home which cost $80 per day for 18 days! Otherwise, if she was in her "normal" state, she would be at a care centre which cost cheaper...

Now, without our maid, our lifestyle changes drastically... somehow...:-

1. No one prepares milk / breakfast in the morning for us and we have to do it ourselves - dread... extra thing to do and need to rush in the morning...;
2. No one washes, hang and fold our clothes and we have to do it at night when we return from work - no choice, else, they accumulate if we don't wash... ;
3. No one irons our clothes - we still hang our crumpled clothes and awaiting S to come back - ironing clothes is a boring task ...;
4. No one cleans the home daily - we just sweep and mop the house once a week - floor not that dirty actually...;
5. No one cooks dinner and we got to pack our dinner or eat out everyday - extra cost incurred but get to choose different kind of food other than home cooked food...;
6. No one fetch Zozo from student care and she got to go back home herself - she's a bit reluctant to be home alone and I need to go back early to pick her up from after school care....
7. ...

Well... Good thing about no maid and sick person at home...

1. 2 less people in the house!!!
2. Zozo has to learn to be independent and not always rely on maid to get things done for her...
3. Me and my hubby wash / hang and dry our clothes together at night and I find it enjoyable...
4. House chores can be done once a while and it is no big deal actually - our home is quite clean...
5. As long as maid is around, we always had home dinner by default. Now, we just eat out and enjoy dinner outside / pack dinner till S returns...
6. As no one cooks, we need not go buy food and groceries on Sundays at NTUC...
7. As no one cooks dinner, my other sis-in-laws did not to come to our house on the 2 Sundays for gathering... Phew... PEACE!!!

I kinda like this lifestyle change...

Happy Birthday and Happy 14th ROM Anniversary

It's my 37th birthday and also my 14th ROM anniversary with my hubby...

As usual... nothing special... Just go for a dinner together with hubby and Zozo...

For most of the "special" occasions, be it my or his or Zozo's birthday, anniversaries, etc, we don't go for big bash type but a simple dinner together. And it was most of the times, not very pre-planned because me and my hubby are very "lazy" or "ignorant" of where to eat... lol... So end up, either we go back to the restaurant that we frequent (the Shore Restaurant somewhere in Changi) or a place that we randomly choose and of "not so nice food"...

For this time, my sweet hubby searched online and found a buffet dinner at Plaza Brasserie at Parkroyal Hotel.

 The ambiance of the restaurant was great. The food spread was alright and the most important thing that we must have for buffet is raw oysters. Me and my hubby love raw oysters  Overall, we like this restaurant and enjoyed the food!

 

Happy Birthday to ME and Happy Anniversary to my HUBBY!

Downgrade From Master Bedroom to Normal Bedroom

It's time to move out of my Master Bedroom to get ready for my hoarder 3rd sis-in-law to move in... :(

Somehow, got the kind of feeling of imbalance and angry and no choice inside me...

13 years ago, I agreed to move in to stay together with my in-laws because my hubby is the only son and I "understand" that he has to take care of his old age parents and that mentally retarded 2nd sister. So, I have no choice but to agree because I love my husband. That time, I always envious newly weds having the experience of choosing, buying and decorating their nice cozy house that called their own... Although I was then added as a co-owner in the house deed to help pay for the mortgage loan, owning 25% of the house, most of the things in the house was already fixed and I have no say in decorating / commenting / changing them. What I have is a Master Bedroom which we have renovated up. This is the only place that I truly said, is my own, in the house.

So, I have been staying in this kind of lifestyle for years until both my in-laws passed away. FINALLY! From 25%, it became 33.3% till now 50% share of the house... I got more say in the house!

BUT, because of my hubby's idea to let her sis move in so that she can fetch more rental income and at the same time, our domestic helper can help to take care of her, I again have to "understand" my hubby's position. That means, my agreement on this matter will require major changes to my lifestyle. Not only my Master Bedroom have to be given up for them, due to the countless useless sewing materials and things from my 3rd sis-in-law, I have to let her occupy another bedroom for her sewing purpose!


See! I have to convert study room to become my bedroom, gave up my Master Bedroom and my MBR toilet and another room for them, including sharing everything in the house with someone again.

What choice do I have? I think I am a very "understanding" women and also I "bo pian", need to agree to what my hubby say, because I love him.

Life is Vulnerable....

Recently, got to know that my polytechnic friend, A, was diagnosed with cancer.

She was supposed to get back to me and my husband on some traded endowment fund insurance policy but didn't hear from her for sometime. We called her and after some probing from us when she told us that she was sick and on MC, she then revealed that she got cancer.

Perhaps, we didn't realized our insensivity when we asked about her illness and plans, etc... we sensed that she didn't want to talk about it.... She used to the the chatty type where she can continue to talk no end... but ...

It is already a sad thing to know that she got a terrible illness to live with and furthermore, she must have felt the pressure that she has to get married as soon and to conceive asap...

Sigh.... Life is so vulnerable...

Just not too long ago, the popular Taiwanese drama "Ai" was showing that "Jialing" was diagnosed with terminal cancer. The heart wrenching thing that brought me to tears was her loving husband was so sad to know it and had to keep it from her. I was thinking that if I had "cXXcXr" (touch wood!) and dying soon, what will happened? The feeling of waiting to die must be terrible but the worst thing is that I will be damned sad too because I know that my family, my loving husband and Zozo will be sad too....

Life is vulnerable... You won't know that if you are the "lucky" ones...

I hope that everyone in this world be healthy, free from all these nasty illness and free from sufferings... Have a happy life...

Baby Conversation - Soooo.... Cute

Can't resist to ignore this 2 little thing talking to each other....

Enjoy the movie...

Let the advertisement run for a while before their "talk" starts....

Life Without A Car

As I have sold my car in July 10, getting to work and traveling between the 4 sites, with a heavy laptop haversack, is dreading, time wasting and tiring. Mike fetched me to work in the morning whenever he can. After dropping Zozo to school at 7 am, he'll drop me at Jurong site around 7.45 am after beating the morning traffic congestion and he can reach his office in Tuas at 8 am... (I am so far the earliest person to reach my site office...) If he does not fetch me, I will have to leave home at 7.15 am to catch the public transport and reach site before 8.30 am...


Whenever I need to go to another site myself, I will think of my "Handsome" Chevrolet Optra (sad sad..) How I wished to own a car again so that I can just hop in and drive to any location I want... Frankly speaking, owning and driving a car makes me feel more "upper class", "suave" and independent. I felt that others might respect me more and "look me up more"???


Well, I don't think I can and want to buy a car now as the COE price is so high. Furthermore, one of my sites will be at Chinatown CBD area where high parking charges and ERP gantry will incur more cost when I station there full time. I dissuade myself to own a car with more reasons, such as the car will depreciate over years, more cost incur such as insurance and road tax, season parking, etc, etc...

There will be some inconveniences but I told myself that I can make do without one. I will get used to public transport and make use of these extra money that may be spent for the car, for some other meaningful ways for a much better lifestyle.

Back To Work!!!

YES! I accepted the job and started working since 15 Feb 11.

The "quiting" PMgr Chong's last day was 28 Feb 11 and he continued to handle the existing work scope and I was just getting used to take over him totally on 1 Mar 11.

Most of the matters regarding the work were quite familiar to me but now, I have to do some admin work manually because my previous company has a robust system and program to submit electronically.... Ha! Now, it's peanuts! Now, I only have 1 project and 4 precincts, compared to previously, I have 3 running project and 11 precincts plus a couple of DLP HUP projects to handle!!!!

I was told by my new company director that PMgr Chong quit because he and the cttr's PMgr did not get along well. Well, I can "see" the "tension" between them during my first week. Actually, the cttr's Pmgr did have the "arrogant" face and attitude and the cttr's style of denying the work that did not specify clearly in the specifications. However, I think that this is quite typical of cttr... From what I see, Pmgr Chong was quite a "by the book" man, probably he was new to LUP project (1 yr) and dislike the attitude of the cttr. He got very "sore" whenever he did not get his way and now, if chances arises, he would want to fight and nail the cttr down. I find that it was Chong's attitude and way of "demanding" talking to cttr that make cttr's side not corporating with him.

Anyway, now that I took over, I just want to get the work done safely, timely and amicably and reasonably. No point "shooting" people down and make life miserable to myself or others. I hope I will carry out my work smoothly and happily.

Back to Work Life?

I have not been working since end of Mar 10 and was doing internet marketing all this while. Sad to say that I achieved nothing in IM and even spent a bit of money for some useless IM courses.

I had thought of carrying on without working, spent my savings away and then depend on my husband to "feed" me. However, thinking rationally, this is not going to last forever. Then, I thought of finding an easy, without stress job, just enough to live and survive... And, I set a dateline to start finding a job early this year.

In early Jan 11, several weeks ago, I received a phone call from a "friend", who was the client's representative when I was a consultant PMgr. He told me that his Architect consultant was looking for a PMgr to replace his quiting PMgr for a job site and he highly recommended me to return to PMgr world.

Was it Law of Attraction? Just when I wanted to go back to work life and here comes the opportunity. well, I had mixed feelings as I was quite reluctant to work back that kind of stressful PMgr role but then, I need a job to feel rich again (because I was spending my savings and been living very frugally for the past year.) Moreover, I am going to face that fussy "friend" as he will be the client's rep again for that job site. Anyway and finally, I agreed to let the Architect consultant to call me for an offer.

Two weeks passed and no one rang me. Just when I almost gave up hope, the director of the consultant company called me and invited me for an interview on 25 Jan 11. Yeepee...!

The interview went well. I do have a feeling that he will employ me as I do have the very relevant experience to oversee the lift upgrading project and additionally, I had high recommendations from the client's rep, aka "friend". I actually do not know what is the current market rate for PMgr but surely I knew that I was grossly underpaid in my previous sucking company. I asked for a much higher pay than my previous although I still got a feeling that I may have asked too less. Well, $5K a month is still much higher than what I got previously although some terms and conditions are different, such as 5.5 days week and 14 days annual leaves compared to my previous 5 days week and 21 days annual leaves... Unless the company thinks that I am too expensive to employ, I should stand a much better chance than the other interviewees.

Good news! The director called me today and offered me the job! Hooray!!! Bad news? I need to seriously consider if I am really ready to embark my "rough" ride in work life again. Sigh...

I will brave up and take up the job! Being unemployed did make me feel some sort of "socially deserted" and "embarrassed" at times because I am not that rich but people think that I am very rich to be able to afford such a "tai tai" lifestyle. I also avoided going out with my ex-colleagues and friends so that I will not incurred extra expenses and also to avoid them asking too much of my current lifestyle. However, I am extremely satisfied and happy to be so carefree and stress-free staying at home to work on my IM business!

Ok,  I told myself that when I am back to work life, I will be a better leader and approach things / problems in a more matured and decisive ways. I find that I can look back of the ways that I dealt of problems previously and hopefully, I can handle in a much better way so that I can be less stressful.

Sicko Movie - Saw 3D!

I watched the first moive, Saw, a few years back and knew that this movie was a show meant for sicko people because of the elaborate planning and psychotic killing scenes.

Since then, I did not watch any of the 5 other Saw movies simply because I seldom go cinemas to watch movies; my husband will be too scared to watch these kind of gruesome movies; and I will not want to allow my daughter to watch for fear of affecting her young mind....

I have pps.tv installed on my laptop and I can conveniently watch available movies online anytime I like. There was this much-talk-about Saw 3D movie (the 7th sequel of Saw movie) and so I just click to watch. Before I decided to watch, I did prepare myself that this is a bloody gory movie, the scenes are scare tactics that are not real...

Hmmm... damn it! I don't know if it was a mistake to watch this movie... The script writer and the director are damn imaginative and know how to manipulate people minds with these psychotic decisions and the killing scenes are so real...

The movie opens with a glass cage. Two men who apparently know each other wake up chained to either end of a table saw. The puppet "Billy" rides in on a trike and says they each have to decide whether the other guy will die, so that the girl that has been dating both guys, suddenly revealed to be suspended above them, will live, or choose to live and let the girl die. The girl tells one man she loves him and the jilted man starts winning. Then she tells the one who is about to die that she loves him and he starts winning. Then they agree to let her die and she is sawed in half, spewing blood out of her mouth and intestines on the floor...

Errm... wanted to stop watching the movie because it was a terrible sad thing to watch people decide who should die and to die so horribly... But I told myself to have guts to stay on and finish off the movie. So here's another scene...

Some white supremacists are at an abandoned junk yard. The driver is super-glued to the driver's seat. His girlfriend is chained under the car with barbed wire. His friend is tied in front of the car, and another friend is also in a trap behind the vehicle, with a tube tucked in his mouth. A tape plays and says that the driver has judged people by the color of their skin and now he is going to learn that everyone is the same color on the inside. He has thirty seconds to rip himself from the seat so that he can pull a lever outside the broken windscreen. Otherwise, the car is going to fall off the jacks, crushing his girlfriend, causing a chain reaction which will kill him and the others. He tries to reach and gets close, reaping off his skin from the seats but ultimately is unsuccessful. The car falls on the girlfriend, moving wheels smashed her head, then goes forward and rips up the the one friend that has a tube in his mouth and then runs over the one in front, the car crashes and the driver is thrown through the window, bearing his bloody flesh of his back...

Oh man! Tension, thrilling, bloody, screamings, gruesome, fear, sicko people, helpless victim, etc... Really can't stomach it anymore... I switched off the movie and I praised myself for surviving 20 minutes of the show...

Really don't like the tension and feeling of something bad and unpleasant happening to human beings, especially the excruciating pain, fear and death that it is going to happen. Be warned! This sicko movie is not suitable for ordinary people, else you will have nightmares... lol...

Well, hope that there isn't any such psychotic people in this world that bring fear and pain to other people. Let's stay in a harmonious and peaceful world and live a happy lifestyle, everyone!

Colonoscopy Wait

My mum recently complained of diarrhea and gastric pain. After accompany her to the GP for checkup, the doctor referred her to see a specialist to check her colon on safe side.

My poor mum, being the "always worrying" type, was very worried of the procedure and told me that she was alright those few days and if possible, she did not want to go thru the colonoscopy. However, at Changi General Hospital (CGH), she admitted to me that she still feel some gastric pain and had diarrhea that morning. To be sure of no growth or cancerous cell, the specialist then recommended her to undergo colonoscopy (a means of visualising and examining the full lining of the colon and rectum using a long flexible tube-like instrument) and at the same time do the check on the stomach for gastric pain problem (using similar instrument inserting through the throat to examine the stomach). Scary.....

I was relieved to hear that the procedure will be done under sedation, last for less than half an hour and I reassured my mum. She agreed with still a worried face and "phew", thankfully, the procedure will be done the very next day afternoon at 1.30 pm. Or else, the waiting will be antagonizing to her.

To examine the colon thoroughly during the colonoscopy, she has to drink 3 litres of "awful tasting" Colonic Lavage Powder solution over 3 hours to totally get rid of stool inside the colon that evening. Furthermore, she has to fast from that evening to the next day till the examination is over.

Poor mum, all this while, if she gets hungry, she will shiver and have cold sweat. She will get bloated whenever she drinks too much water... I don't want her to go through these... Why does she have to go through this? I cried myself to sleep that evening....

Bravo! My mum drank the 3 litres of solution over 5 hours and purged out all stool by the morning. At 1.30 pm, we checked into CGH endoscopy centre and the friendly nurses prepared her everything ready to be pushed in to the "theatre". We waited eagerly and patiently in the ward bed for the doctor to arrive but to our dismay, the nurse informed us that the doctor has been recalled for an emergency case and we need to wait for another 2 hours! WTF!

I hate waiting but no choice, we got to wait. You know, to wait for something not very pleasant is a terrible feeling. And to reduce my mum's antagonizing wait, I keep chatting with her so that she will not think too much...Time past and the other patient on the other bed checked in later than us but underwent the colonoscopy through another doctor was already back in the ward again. That was another terrible "blow" to my mum as she should also have been done so and back too!

It was quite a long wait and finally, the nurse came in around 3.30 pm and brought her away. It was a relieved that it was finally her turn but at the same time, I know she must also be feeling extremely terrified now because it is the TIME now!

Half an hour past and she is out. The doctor spoke to me and was glad to hear that no adverse results shown. There was no polyps or cancerous cell detected except that "holes" were found in the colon which the doctor assured me that they are common in elderly. As for her stomach, only gastric inflammation found where some medication should be able to control that.

I feel that our life and health are very vulnerable. People die and some for no reason... People suddenly get sick, also for not obvious reasons... Is it because of what we eat, do and everyday lifestyle we have that may have effects in our body system? I am not sure... I hope that someone can invent a magic health pill that can prevent people from all kind of sickness. I wish that all human beings are all healthy so that they can be spared to go through all the long wait for those prolonged medical procedures, continual medications, endless examinations and terrified operations, etc, etc because of their illness...

Related articles

• Do I Need More Colon Cancer Screening After Polyps? (everydayhealth.com)
• Is Colonoscopy Necessary? (everydayhealth.com)
• Know What to Expect From Colonoscopy Prep (everydayhealth.com)

Primary School Friends

Who still have primary friends in contacts now??? That's sweet if you are still contacting them... Sad thing for me is that I have no contacts with them anymore and do not remember most of the names and faces anymore.


However, two days ago, I met a primary school friend outside a clinic when I brought my mum to see the doctor. I can still recognized her and even remember her name, although she could not recall mine. Oh man! We calculated and recalled that we have not seen each other for almost 24 years since P6!!!!


It was a happy moment for me and to think about it, we are still able to meet up after so long. I find it very memorable when we chat about what we did when we were so young then... hope i can meet more of such "old" friends and get all of them to gather and catch up one day...


Anyway, as for now, I will cherish all the friendship that I now have... I want to remember the times that I spent together with friends in adulthood, during my worklife and in the journey of my life. It will be good to have friends when we grow old....

Savers Or Hoarders

My 3rd sister-in-law is a handicapped since birth. She has to use clutches at home and wheelchair for mobility when she is out. Tell you, she likes going out, wheeling around in her wheelchair, taking bus and MRT to her church, shopping, mostly by herself and sometimes with her church friends. Fortunately, we are in Singapore where now most of the footpaths and public transports are handicapped-free!

About a month ago, my husband decided to ask his handicapped sister to move in our house so that she can rent out her whole 4-room flat for better rental income for herself. With another mentally retarded sister currently staying with us, our domestic helper can look after both of them at the same time.

That means, I have to give up our master bedroom for her 2 sisters and the maid because of the convenience to use the master bathroom... That means, I have to give up my current lifestyle and way of living after 13 years of marriage in this house. Thinking of the situation and for the benefits of everyone in the family, I have to agree on that.

Persuading her to move in with us was also not an easy task as that means she has to give up her lifestyle too! We finally persuaded her after some "forcing" and hard tactics and she agreed to move in before June 11 because she got to do a lot of packing...

Look at her living room and bedroom...

Her Bedroom

Her Living Room

She is not working now but did some sewing and handicraft works during her pastime and most of her income is from collecting rental from her 2 other rooms. Well, after several weeks passed, she still has not succeeded to "pack" her things... So, I go over to help, hopefully to throw most of her things away!

She is clearly a hoarder! Yesterday, I started with her living room ONLY. She has 7 sewing machines, bags and bags of unused cloths that she wants to sew, numerous threads and unfinished handicraft books and materials. She kept lots of plastic bags, uncountable bags, containers, boxes, exercise books, outdated diaries and magazines, cookbooks, etc and simply does not want to throw any of those. She also collected many chairs and tables where people do not want. End up, she packed all the stuff and books in her collection of bags and we threw only about only 1% of the things in the living room... ***Faint***


She really don't know how to classify her various things and she also simply refused to throw. (Guessed she may have sentimental value to all her things or because she has the habit to "SAVE"???.) I told her umpteen times that she will not be able to finish reading all the books or use up those things that she had now. Those stuff that she kept for years were not even opened / touched until now, let alone be using in the coming years. I have to keep "ranting" at her to organise, to throw this and that.  However, she threw some away quite reluctantly with "pain" on her face and most of the times, she will say that she will give those to her friends, etc. (Not sure those things that she want to give her friends will be staying in her house for how long?)

Now, I am starting to worry that my agreement to let her move in with me is a bad decision. If the rate of throwing is still as such, and wants to move all her things to my little flat, I will become a "forced" hoarder! I can't imagine how my nice cosy home will be like....